A Letter to My Fifteen-Year Old Self

Dear you,

I know there are days when you doubt yourself. Days when you wished you were prettier, smarter, funnier. When you’re exhausted from everyone’s expectations. Listen: you are enough. Shut out your doubts. Learn to build your confidence and quieten them down. You are the most intelligent, beautiful, hilarious, never-to-be-repeated person the world will ever know. Trust me, you’ll grow up to love yourself the most. Because you’ll learn that you are the only person who will dive with you in your oceans of solitude. You will discover that the only company you will have is the divine One that moves along with you. You will feel lost, but keep going, and you will be found. Along the way, you will meet people who won’t recognize your value and treat you like you’re dirt. I’m telling you that you’re diamond. You’re rock, solid, gold. They simply never dug deep enough to see how much you’re worth. You hold a world within you, girl. Never let anyone tell you you’re too heavy to be held. They’re not strong enough to handle you well. I know there are days when you look into the mirror and hate how your nose looks when you laugh. When you cried so hard after failing your maths test by several marks. When you get puzzled seeing friends flocking towards relationships. You sit there and wonder what does all of these mean? What am I missing? What is this “happiness” that everyone’s chasing? Don’t believe the hype. Don’t exchange your values for things that aren’t worth your being.

Let me tell you that life doesn’t get easier, but trust me that you will get stronger. You will face sorrow and failures ahead of you, but along the way, you will also meet their siblings, joy and victory. Don’t worry, they come in pairs.

And listen, because I’ve been exactly where you are. When your friend looks at you weird because you wear the hijab, remember that He looks at you with love. When you excuse yourself to pray in between conversations, pray that they will join you too one day. When your friends tell you to do things that go against your morals, stand up for your rights. You are a warrior with a foresight. You know this journey will only be a moment, so make it a moment of fight, for eternal paradise. Who cares if you stumble, what’s important is this: you try, and try, and try. Keep trying. Keep moving on this path. Don’t stall, don’t quit, don’t lose your focus. Don’t waste your youth on things you’ll regret. You are special, you are wonderful. You are the kind of person that Allah loves.

So keep being that.

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