The Unromantic Romantic

i’m not a romantic. there, i’ve said it. i’ve never dreamt of a perfect wedding, crystal laced dresses, 10-tiered cakes in a dreamlike setting. i never believed in ‘the end’s and happy ever afters; only unwritten sequels to every final chapter. never liked princesses who needed saving from some prince, i never liked the idea you see, since i was 6, i preferred nancy drew to sleeping beauty. soccer with my brothers at the void deck over girl friends’ pyjama parties. scribbled lines on papers instead of playing dolls. i’m not a romantic. not a hopeless one at least. but a hopeful. i’m a hopeful romantic who still believes in love at first sight because when i asked my mom “How did you know dad’s the one?”, she smiled so softly as she said “The first time we met, I just knew.” Perhaps you’d like to know I’m not fond of six packs or the seemingly effortless suits you dress, but I’m fond of the good thoughts you think and the good things you say and the way you look at the world with reverence for the same God we love. i prefer books to flowers but if you gift them both to me i guess i can’t refuse a good book-et. yeah, well, in case you haven’t heard, i’m a fan of bad puns. it’s okay if you can’t string rhymes; at least i have something i’m better at than you. i want a quiet kind of love, not a shout out loud, post an art gallery of pictures with captions about how our love will never die; i just want our love to be known in the skies. perhaps i just have a different definition of “romantic”. tell me the first time you felt on top of the world or the last time you had the longest cry. you know the universe in me is vast and the clouds at times are overcast so if it rains it overflows i want you to try to hold a bucket to catch as many drops as you can and tell me it’s okay. i spill secrets like how i spill tears which is almost never loudly so you’ll only ever hear me if you come closer. my love language is thoughtful gestures, noticing the little things and small acts of kindness, not lofty promises that mean nothing and are bound to be forgotten with time. i hope you know how much of a non-romantic person i am. and i pray that you’re praying for me too. (and that’s the most romantic i’ll ever be. it’s true).